The Never Ending Virus

All my personal anxieties have been confirmed. And the anxieties of a lot of other people who predicted that this "Flattening the Curve" thing would be a permanent fixture in American life.  

Last night, I was reading about a "new strain" in New York that the vaccine may or may not address. I have heard similar things previously. Wasn't there a British mutation as well. 

https://www.cnn.com/2021/02/25/health/variants-coronavirus-new-york-city/index.html

And yet, numerically, we are told, though on or about January 8, the "cases" (defined as I understand it as positives, whether symptomatic or not) were at their high, dropped some 70 percent just a few weeks later. But the fear continues to be disseminated. We are being vaccinated, and we will no doubt HAVE to be vaccinated to do anything, including to go to eat, or a concert (when those things open up in places like New York and California, which right now seems not to be on the table), or fly or take a train, but we are told in the same breath that ALL the restrictions for purported safety must continue to be in place. When someone then asks, "Why be vaccinated?", it is as if someone said what everyone surely must notice, that the Emperor indeed is not wearing clothes. But one must not say it. 

The flu, we are told, has virtually disappeared. But don't mention that the symptoms of the flu, of which people have in the past died in great numbers, is pretty much the same as that of Covid. Following the science of all this is down right crazy making. It is not consistent science if science it is at all. 

I know. Lots and lots of you, many of you my friends, think that any questioning of the "science" is tantamount to mental illness. Or dismissal of the fact that indeed some people (and that include me given my age and any potential co-morbidities assigned to me) do get very sick and die. As far as I know we all will die of something, sooner or later. I hate that anyone will die, of anything. But there it is. And deconstructing a whole society to prevent that which cannot be prevented is plain madness, in my opinion, if I might be allowed to express an opinion that is not in accord with the narrative du jour.

But while people are worrying about someone dying of covid, others are dying of the isolation of nearly one year (as of about March 13). I can tell you what is happening to me. I actually don't want to go out much any more. I don't really want to see anyone. I was a loner to start with---one who is apparently very extroverted when I am with people, but in fact used to and inclined toward the solitary--but now, the restriction is reinforcing my natural tendency. I have had a few occasions to be with people in my "bubble" and I have done them, but frankly, I could easily have dispensed with them. If when venues open again here in California we now have mask wearing as a requirement to prevent any other viruses from infecting us or from the soon to be endless variations of Covid that always existed but now requires the reconstruction of the world, I will simply stop going out. You might say that is good. Is it good that an entire populace is prevented from living a normal life? The life we have been leading is not normal and certainly not so if perpetual, even if potentially acceptable for a short period of time. The euphemism, "The new normal" is another in the new Orwellian lexicon. 

The "New Normal" is a cultural and psychological imprisonment. It's only until. . . .when? When will it no longer be necessary? I asked that question, as did many other people, a year ago. And here we are. There is still no answer to that question.  Well, there is, it is our, well it is my, worst fear. 

Alas, we/I are living every science fiction show or movie there ever has been. Logan's Run. Soylent Green. Blade Runner. The Time Machine. Twilight Zone. Outer Limits. 

We are virtue signalling ourselves unto the death which we claim we have power to prevent. 

I don't ask you to agree with me. Just don't insist I agree with you. Oh, but some people are, and they are the ones in power. Woebetide the rest of us. 

Adventures in Vaccination!

I got a notice from my doctor's group the other day that I should not wait for the pharmacy, with which they are apparently associated for the purpose, to get the vaccine. Looks like they won't, or they won't anytime soon. It is a small pharmacy, probably privately owned. 

The good news for me, though, was that I had not been waiting for them. I didn't sit on the computer all night, as I said in a prior entry, but I did check the local news each day to see if any of the large pharmacies which have been given the contract (I assume it is a contract) had yet received a supply of doses. As it turns out last Thursday, I was making such a perusal when I saw that CVS had been approved and was receiving the vaccine. I went to their main site. I punched in my zip code.  That was fast. Any CVS near my home was already booked or did not actually have the vaccine. So I began punching in surrounding zip codes. After a while I found one at the other end of town, which seemed to have lots of openings. I signed up. There was some reservation as naturally the "if it bleeds it leads" news had highlighted cases in which someone who received the shot was in need of an epi pen rescue. And, of course, I have friends and at least one relative who believe that this vaccine material has the ability to track us forever and a day. I wouldn't be surprised. But to me that ship has sailed. Unless you truly go "off the grid" (and though I have thought about it,  and will think about it again as more nutty things happen in this society,  at this stage of the game, given my age, I probably am not capable of "off the grid") being tracked is the story of our lives already. Besides, in this society, when you only have the statistical likelihood of living maybe another 12 years, 15 at the outside, I don't think there is much for anyone to track when it comes to me. It's not like this society is interested in "the wisdom of the elders". Besides I doubt I have any wisdom to offer, and if I did, it's outdated, and irrelevant, along with Western Civilization. And, while I will still hate to fly, and the idea of wearing a mask for 5-10 hours within the continent makes me panicky, I am pretty sure you won't be able to go anywhere, without that little card that comes with your first appointment for the vaccine.

Apropos of that first appointment. I had my appointment for 2:15 today on Western Avenue in Los Angeles. I used to work not far from there back in the day, and it is reminiscent, to me, of my old Bronx neighborhood until I was about 16--familiarly seedy. It put me in mind of 170th Street, or Fordham Road, circa 1960s to mid 1970s. The parking lot (something not easily found in the Bronx in those days) was oddly constructed, with incredibly narrow lanes to pass through on the way to an available space. I was early, so I went on the check in line, which was fairly long, and in which proper distancing was not readily achievable. Despite that reality, the woman in front of me asked me (though I was wearing two masks) no, rather, she said I was too close to her. I backed up, and was closer to the man behind me, who was less concerned about my presence, and who, it turned out was from the East Coast, about my age, and was friendly. He helped me pass the wait time. The young CVS staff were efficient, and called my name while I stood on the line, checked me in, gave me my proof of vaccination card and asked me to wait for the person doing the injections. I could see how edgy people were feeling, anxious, about getting a paradoxical protection that does not free us from the mandates of social distancing and mask wearing. One elderly man (yes, there are some people older than me; I figure he was the generation just ahead of me) who was Chinese and did not speak any language available at CVS, was two hours early and kept shuffling up to the various staff people trying to understand that they were telling him to come back at 4 (it was 2).  I felt such an affection for the man, and I kept hoping that someone would just let him break into the line and get his vaccination. And they did. And these young people were kind to him. I felt a spark of hope for the youngest adult generation. 

My line buddy and I ended up waiting our turn in adjacent chairs. We talked about stoops, the ones we sat on outside our apartment buildings back in the day, the little stone steps, and street games like stick ball (he played; I didn't. My mother would have killed me if I played in the street), and Skelly, and roller skating on steel skates. He called his wife who asked him, apparently, if her were scared of getting the shot. He wasn't. He noticed the fair number of young people getting the vaccination. He asked about it, and was told that these were largely caregivers of older people. 

My turn came and the technician, Hovig, was kind, and friendly, and surprisingly calm amid the proceeedings. And his administration of the shot-it was masterful in its painlessness. 

I followed the prescription to stay and sit for 15 minutes. The only sensation I had, and that for only a few minutes was an itch at the injection site. That dissipated quickly. Up to the moment I just pulled a sweatshirt off, as I was writing this entry,  I felt nothing at all in that arm, and it is three hours later. But, when I did pull the sweat shirt off, there was just a tiny ache in doing so. Well, that happened with the flu shot too, so, I expect that tonight I might not be able to sleep on that side. But right now, maybe I will escape that little side effect. 

Turns out that the man I spent the hour or so with, not only does he come from the East, but he came from my neighborhood. We waved goodbye at the door. I wonder if I would recognize him were we to meet by chance somewhere around Fairfax and Sunset, where we both do our shopping? 

I have my appointment at the same CVS in exactly one month. It turns out that it wasn't a half bad adventure. I have to say that as I drove away, I breathed a sigh of relief to have jumped this societal and medical  hurdle. 

And I have a sticker to prove it!

One Mask, Two Mask, Three Mask Whee!

I have been trying to balance being well informed with maintaining my sanity. It has been a herculean task. 

I shall leave aside, for this entry, the double impeachment theatrics costing the American people, once again, lots of money that could be better spent reducing the trillions of dollars of debt currently in progress in the great halls of the Senate. Today is an update on life with masks, you know, that short term effort to flatten the curve imposed in early 2020 and its concomitant contradictions.

The last few days, there has been a suggestion, a strong suggestion, likely soon to be a mandate, that two masks are far better protection against the present coronavirus (certainly to be superseded ad infinitum by one of the many other coronavirus's out there since time immemorial). This is interesting in that at the same time, and just coincidentally in the middle to late part of January, the number of "cases" (defined, is it, the number of positives with or without symptoms?) went down, and just as the highly anticipated and solution of solutions, the vaccination, is being (very badly) rolled out in states like my own. I just heard, today, for example, that because there are no more first doses, places like Dodger Stadium are being closed down for the time being for distribution. Ahem. I am in one of the categories denominated as needing the vaccine. My doctor's office, though like most or all of them, not distributing the vaccine, has sent me several general e mails saying that they will be reaching out to those in the key categories. I have also received many e mails from the pharmacy with which I am signed up, but they haven't yet been approved to receive the vaccine. You might say, well you could do what others have done, and stay on the computer all through the night until you manage to find someplace 100 miles from your home to get that first dose. Forgive me in saying that I do not consider that reasonable, particularly when the mantra has been the critical need to make the vaccine available.

It is critical. Until it really is not. But I digress. Masks. 

So, we should be wearing two masks. I personally have had (and though they are afraid to say it out loud for fear of improper opinion others have had) a very hard time in wearing a mask. I do it when I do go out, because I have no choice, and because the propaganda has made me so afraid--despite my common sense and the fact that nothing that the science has said has been consistent--in being around anyone without it. One of the goals of whatever this last year has been about, beyond the claim of it being about public health--has been to isolate the population. It is inhibiting community. It has prevented family and advocates of the elderly in nursing homes from being able to have any personal contact or to be sure that their loved ones are being adequately treated and protected. Mission, whatever it is, accomplished. Those people--and I guarantee you they cross all political affiliations--who dare to go out and try to live ordinary lives--are excoriated for being selfish. Now that California is allowing outside dining again, I am having a birthday dinner (his, not mine) with a friend. The pleasure of that type of event today is not the same as it was over a year ago. I have been dissuaded, as again, appears to have been the purpose, from wanting to go out, ever. I heard today also that there is talk of not allowing Americans to travel between states. If the cases are going down, why? The science. 

But, those who will cross the borders without benefit of going through the immigration process can travel freely, as a matter of humanitarian good. 

I heard over and over how people should not have private parties or go to watch parties at bars and restaurants when the Super Bowl was shown last week.  Some restaurants covered their televisions.

But I don't get it. If the Super Bowl was a potential super spreader, then why not cancel it. I will give you one guess. Money. This was one bit of profit that would not be squelched. But my neighborhood restaurant. Bye Bye. Shut up. Take you 1200, or 600. Oh, and as to that, why are people who are retired getting stimulus checks? Are they expected to start a business.

Masks. I have to remember. Masks. They will save us. I wonder if Amazon sells cheap Hazmat suits. 

Yippee! They do. Several selections. Here is one.

I never felt this way before. And, one of the things I am feeling. Fear. Fear in my nation, for my nation, and for myself, and my community and my friends and family. And fear from fellow Americans.