It was a quiet first of May, but not without its small enjoyments. I got outside today. I think it was a permissible outing, though perhaps not specifically on the list of activities approved by our Governor in one of today's press bloviations. I went to the post office to get postage for a package and to buy stamps. I walked. It was a lovely sunny breezy day. I affixed my scarf mask when I entered the Post Office. And breathed freely again, always at the appropriate distance from anyone approaching or behind me, when I got back outside. Then I took my car and went to the pet store. It was open so I assume that is considered essential. I got another hummingbird feeder to complement the other I have on my terrace. The birds have always provided a great deal of pleasure long before the days of coronavirus containment. Now, they serve the added role of a kind of anti-anxiety medication.
I was thinking about getting a tall large cat scratching post so my two cats could sharpen their nails and look out my bedroom window at the same time, but the posts were massive and I barely have room with all the things I seem to be acquiring from Amazon during this current crisis. So I didn't do that. But my on line over purchasing did not prevent me from going to the 99 Cents Store for some necessary items at a far lower cost than I might get at my local Ralphs. I would say that social distancing in the bargain store was a bit less well monitored than it ought to have been, but I was wearing my mask once again, and no one sneezed near or in my presence. And best of all, since I bought way too much, I had to use the shopping cart, the wheels of which usually lock up as soon as I am out the door, but actually stayed limber as I walked all the way to my car. It's the little things these days that inhibit a sense of utter despair at the manner in which our leaders are destroying our society, for our own good, of course. I know. Lots of you don't agree. In locus parentis for everything is the wave of the future. Pelosi and Schumer make a wonderful mom and dad, no? Or grandma and grandpa. I am not sure which members of the family Messrs. Newsom and Garcetti would be--maybe bossy older brothers. But that's just an opinion amid a downpour of opinions in every conceivable digital and non-digital outlet.
Once home I poured myself a soft drink and watched the Mass from Bishop Robert Barron's Chapel up in Santa Barbara. I have tried to watch every day, but some days my other disappointment raises its head, and I find that I am blocked about "going" to Mass by I-Pad, and skip it. Not often, but enough to alarm me, as I have been a daily attendee and well, when we were allowed to be, Communicant.
When I saw that the schedule for the phased in reopening of California, the other day
CA Governor Lays Out 4-Stage Reopen Plan: ‘Months’ Before Churches, Gyms, Sports, Hair & Nail Salons Open
I was in need of something to inhibit the tsunami of despair which washed over me. But it was, perhaps oddly, less about the decisions of our government leaders than that I heard not a peep out of the leaders of the Church. Surely, this is the time to intercede for the faithful. Surely, someone would say, "Hey, maybe we can work out a way to serve the faithful AND protect them kind of like we do in the grocery stores." (Well, not in the grocery stores, since at least one Ralphs right near me had 16 confirmed positives. Perhaps grocery stores need to be closed?)
But I have heard nothing.
A while ago, I impulsively started a Change.org petition to reopen the Parishes, and posted on the public news feed on Facebook.
It's like over a week, and I have 23 signatures. I note that there are a few other similar petitions, but they aren't exactly being overrun either. I anticipate once again the possible response. "Well, people realize that we cannot allow people to go to Mass as long as one person might get sick and/or die." Then we are all going to have to stay home a very long time. Like Forever. Because things that make us sick and die will exist always. It is deep end of the existential morass. It is despicable whether or not you or I believe in a theologically eternal resolution. What do we do? What was it we USED to do? We took reasonable precautions recognizing that in whatever direction we go, we could lose someone.
Another one of the things I think will be happening. More and more Catholics will stay home, even after they are permitted to receive Communion again. We keep hearing that you can worship anywhere. Well, Catholics cannot receive Communion anywhere. This is the ESSE of our worship. This is not a small deprivation to the faithful--but after months of not going to Mass, and not receiving the Eucharist, it could easily feel like something that isn't so critical.
The Church is the Body of Christ. The leaders of the Church are human beings, and I understand that they may be fearful, of the state they are trying to appease (hence they were the ones who closed the doors initially), of themselves, of lawsuits, but this is not the history of the holy men and women with which I am familiar. This is about modelling, and goes back to the concern I have that the parishioners will not come back having seen how their leaders did not even seek to adjust the Governor's timeline and allow intelligent people to figure out how to make it work for the safety of all. And, anyone who still feels afraid among the faithful is in no way coerced to attend, nor would there likely be any theological condemnation thereby. No matter. I am not in charge. Letting go of that need is one of the challenges of spiritual life, well mine for sure.
Well, I did watch the Mass today, and I did say the Rosary, albeit in my usual distracted fashion. That's all the control I have, to pray. Luckily others are better at it than I am.
And on a lighter secular note, I received two of my Amazon ordered items, a face cream to add to all my other face creams, and a small make up stool for my bathroom.
Let us see what May the Second brings.
I have to tell you what came to mind though. It was Dorothy Parker's line, "What Fresh Hell is This?"
More prayer needed. Mine, and yours, if you are willing.
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