Monkeymind at Adoration

It's the First Sunday of the Month. In the Catholic faith, in many parishes across the world, the First Sunday is the occasion of a period of Eucharistic Adoration.  Let me back up. What is it that is being adored? Actually Who is it that is being adored?  It is our central belief that Jesus, the Second Person of the Trinity, upon the liturgy in which an ordinary piece of bread, in the shape of a host, becomes fully present Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity. The Host still has the appearance of bread, the taste of bread, but is Substantially God, Jesus Christ. So, at the Eucharistic Adoration, a large Host that has previously been consecrated through the instrument of the priest (but by God Himself; the priest has no power in and of himself) is placed in a receptacle called a "Monstrance" and left for a period, an hour, or as long as overnight, on the altar, as people come and go (some stay the whole time) and pray. The soon to be beatified Archbishop Fulton Sheen recommended the practice daily and in fact, he died sitting before the Sacrament (which means a visible sign of God's Presence on earth).

"Those crazy Catholics!" I hear some of you saying as you find another blog to read. But not so crazy if this 2000 year old belief in the Transubstantiation is true.  There have been a lot of people who have believed and died in that belief, and many who this very day who will die in that belief. Among them are some of the most brilliant thinkers in the history of civilization, a heck of a lot more brilliant than me, or anyone alive right now. The thing about this faith, it has been said, is that Christ was one of three things, a liar, crazy or that what He handed on was true. But I digress. which I suppose is the crux of this entry. And I know that my inadequate expression of the the theology of my faith isn't going to convince anyone.

St. Victor has an afternoon Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament on the First Sunday (among other occasions). I try to stay after the service and I try to pray when I do stay. Some days, I have moderate success at focusing on the altar with Our Lord, quite literally, with us as He was with the Apostles in the boat during the Storm on the Galilee. I say the rosary, or I read some short meditations from one book or another I favor.

My mind is always going a mile a minute, but usually I can slow it down when I come to pray within the Church. But today, it sped  up. You name it I was thinking about it, lunch, tasks I have to do during the week, ideas for things I am or have been writing, taking note of my overwhelming laziness when it comes to a variety of projects I claim to want to tackle, annoyance at an interaction I had during the week, comparing the accomplishments or lack thereof of my life to those of anyone or everyone whose face popped into my mind. They say in general meditation one should not follow the thoughts, but sort of bat them away in the mind with the help of a mantra, in this case, "My Lord and My God". "Ok," I think as I lose the rhythm of the prayer, "I've got it!" Then I don't and the thoughts rush in at dizzying insistent speed.

Of course, the more I say to myself, "Stop it!" the more I can't. I remember that I need to ask for God's Grace in this as in all else. I take a deep breath and probably for all of 50 seconds I am thinking only of God, not in any precise way, but being present in that pew.

And then it's gone and my mind is off again! Well, I remember that St. Theresa of Calcutta said something in her journey along the lines of "God does not ask you to be successful; He asks you to be faithful."  I go to St. Victor every day (except Saturday) for Mass, and I often sit in the Church bathed in a natural amber from the light streaming from the stained glass windows after Mass before I run off to this and that in my retired, anonymous life. And I will try again, with His Grace.