State Bar Employees and Friends Say Fare Thee Well (to me) in 2011

No doubt I have somewhere noted in these blog pages that after getting my Law licenses in New York and California, and working in various part of the profession, in the 1980s I seriously considered giving it all up. I might have been relatively intelligent and certainly verbal, but the confrontation and games playing, never did suit me. I was and remain a bit literal about the truth in an arena where truth, despite claims otherwise especially by the profession itself, tends to be flexible. I was a psychological introvert in a extrovert's field. And the last person who seemed to have any real relevance in private practices I observed was the client.  And even back then, the amount of paper and bureaucracy was enormous. I was about to quit (to my Depression era father's horror) when through a series of perhaps Divine interventions and/or synchronicity (I am religious so I tend to go with the former explanation though I expect that Divine intervention can be synchronous) I ended up as a prosecutor for the State Bar of California. My job was to attempt to uphold the ideals which were the raison d'etre for the Rules of Professional Conduct. I did my best. We did our best in a constantly politically charged atmosphere (Is there any other kind?) This more suited my nature and allowed me to stay in the career I had chosen--albeit for reasons that are really still a mystery to me. That's not to say it was easy. Where there are human beings, there is imperfection. But what I found was that not only was I a decent trial lawyer, but that this work turned out to be a vocation in that field I had oddly chosen.  And in that milieu I met wonderful dedicated people, some of whom remain friends today. Like Claudius in ancient Roman Times, I survived lots of changes in leadership, until a quarter of a century into my career, having reached the heights of middle management, I, along with several others, was promoted into retirement one day, very quickly, in the summer of 2011. This vocation was at an end. There have been, and will be, others.  

There was no formal farewell at the Bar per se, and I was not able to celebrate my 25th year at the annual service awards as they occurred after my separation, but there were gatherings at local restaurants, and somewhere along the way I was given a lovely album by which to remember my colleagues and friends. 

I offer a few of these in today's blog entry, with occasional commentary.

The above pic of me was at one of our birthday celebrations, this one, clearly, mine. 

I have so much affection for those I worked with---to this day. 

Above upper right. Me and my long time secretary Paula. Just below, me and my later secretary Jessica. Lower left, me and Rick, I think it was an NOBC in Philadelphia. Right, me and Janet. 

I know I will miss some names, but even if I do, I'm glad I rubbed shoulders with you. Let's see, some pictured and not in any order, Paul, Ysabel, Robin, Paula, Lisa, Geri, Sarah, Maridee, Teresa, Alan, oh dear, my memory for names has never been good! One sad note in this pic, that Alice is no longer with us. 

My favorite in this set is the funny picture of Dane. Dane was my right hand at the end of my time at the Bar, in the Intake Unit. He settled me when things got too crazy. I think I settled him when things got too crazy for him. I haven't seen him in years,  so I can't say for sure.  

The Office of the Chief Counsel management team when Mike Nisperos was the CTC. Hmmm, This was circa 2001 to 2004? I'm going to miss a name or two. Me, Elena, Jessica, Jeff, Rick, Victoria, Russell, Cathy, Seana, Mike, Bill. 

I am going to miss some names again, but a few, Tom, Larry, Kristin, Luis, Paul O., Kim, Sheryl, Tom...

More faces I see, Mehdi, Jean, Ed, Mike, Charles, Tim, Kim, add yourself in the comments!

Above is a kind of sad one, in that Scott and Judge Talcott are both gone.

I feel so guilty, people I know I know, and I can't remember names, those I can, Murray, Joe, Sue, Eric, Anthony, Yolanda, Brooke. . . . 

Oh, dear Sarah, middle right, no longer with us. More names that come to me, Keith, Alan, and below Teri, Shari, Susan A., Barbara, John who got out of law and went into commercials on TV, and comedy music.

I'm exhausted trying to remember all names. . . .Craig with mom Geri, me and Max, Cecilia, Sheila, Lisa . . . .

Our Christmas (Festivus was what we called them courtesy of was it Seinfeld?) gatherings were always one of my favorites as plainly you can see. I'm the one with the Santa hat. We used to do White Elephant gifting. Russell who was my boss is next to me above. 

Yes, there were a lot of social gatherings, but there was also a lot of hard work and the stress of changing agendas and stakeholders. And I was lucky to be among you all. It has been fun to think about it for this edition of the blog. And I have fared well. 

New York, to Massachusetts in 2005 and oh, Throw in San Francisco

As I have no doubt said in past entries, I am amazed, given how much I do not like flying, that I have managed to do as many trips as I have. It's a testament I guess to people I have been lucky to know and the emotional and intellectual drive to see places I have read about! In 2005, Len Speaks (if I am correct) spearheaded a WFUV reunion in New York, specifically Westchester. Now, let me offer a recapitulation about WFUV when I was a student at Fordham at Rose Hill in the Bronx in the antediluvian days of the 1970s. It was a hallway between two doors on the upper level of Keating Hall. It was a 50,000 watt student station, that covered (still does) New York, Connecticut and Jersey I seem to recall. At the time I started there doing the station break (This is WFUV, the Radio Voice of Fordham University), as a sophomore, having been a wing person to my friend Ginny (does she remember I wonder?) in pursuit of one of the young gentlemen staffers at FUV, it was only on the air for about (all you FUVers can correct me) six hours a day. She flirted. I auditioned for the Evening Concert by correctly saying the Classical composers names. I was Rhoda to her Mary Tyler Moore. Just kidding. In my time air time was increased to about 18 hours (Again this is if memory serves, as I did come in at 6 a.m. to turn on the transmitter from time to time. Yes, I did once manage to get up before 10 a.m.!) Since my days there, Fordham discovered the monetary value of the student run station which had eluded it before, and essentially took it over and while everyone is told how much the students are involved, it is not student run (yes, in my opinion). And what are described as the halcyon days omits ever so much about many of those who spent their undergraduate years there making it finally attractive to the powers that be. As for me, I didn't ultimately go into the "entertainment" field. But that time in my life was key to what success I had in my working and social life. I made friends there I still have. And it took me from painfully shy and quiet to well, an extroverted introversion if that makes any sense. I tend still to prefer to be alone and quiet, but I am well able to transact my day among others and seem very comfortable. Sometimes I actually am. So, below some shots of that trip.

I stayed in Chappaqua--humble geographic and well secured home of the Clintons, but also of a wonderful boutique hotel called Kittle House, which is formed from an 18th century home, if memory serves. My room was in the attic and I felt ever so safe, and happy and well tended. And as you can see just below, it had residents I always like: Cats. Mama is the one with the black spot on her nose. The other is her daughter. They spent much time in my room, and on my bed. 

                                       Just below, our room at the facility where the festivities were held. I rented a car (and there was lots of rain that trip; the Saw Mill parkway is quite a treacherous drive in the rain!) and drove where I needed to be. 

Below, some of the attendees, including but not limited to Bill Pomerleau, the late Rich Adcock, Mike Fornatale, Ralph Carmosino, Mary Carmosino, Len Klatt, Steve Petrone, Ginny Rohan, Ron Rollo, Steve Dunlop, Gary Stanley, Bob Brienza, Lorraine Raguseo, Mary Maguire. . . .feel free to add names of those I missed.  And, a special shout out to the late Mrs. Vallach, who arranged for the restaurant facility. Like my father, she had an affection for the kids from Fordham. Good days. 

And, I managed to see two others in New York. My now late Aunt Georgia who by this time was in a memory care location, again, if ye old memory serves, and my then California friend, Fr. Paul Wolkovits who was in New York. We met at the Yale Club in Manhattan and had one of the deepest talks of our friendship. 

 

From there I drove to Massachusetts and the South Bay to the town of Scituate (I just read that Mark Goddard from Lost in Space grew up there), to spend time with Janey and the kids (well then they were kids). One day I'll tell the story about how they came into my life--and have stayed in it. Some pics are from my stay; others are those sent to me in and around 2005.

Today Cait is a psychologist like her late father and Charlie is into finance, is married and just had his first child, a boy. When our parents told us that time passes quickly, they were understating it. To me it is just yesterday. In time, it is all history. 

This wasn't part of my trip, but Janey got to be the Rose of Scituate. 

As I wended my way back to Logan Airport and I had a lot of time, I decided to visit the Kennedy Library. That had been on my bucket list. Bottom two shots. The upper shots (of the ones below) are of the former home of my friends in Scituate. It was rural-ish with lovely woods around.  Now the whole area is a subdivision of manicured homes. 

Later on, that same year, I was invited to the installation of Bishop George Niederauer as Archbishop of San Francisco. I had, and my father had, gotten to know the Archbishop when he was one of two Monsignors (he was in residence; the other was pastor) at my parish of St. Victor. I had the good fortune to visit Utah when he became a Bishop there, and now I got to do the San Francisco version. I stayed in a little local B and B. And my friend Denise and I had a day to putter around which we did by a boat ride to Sausalito, eating, shopping and walking. Neither of us had any agenda that day and so whatever we fell into, we enjoyed. I bought a reversible raincoat on sale for 40 bucks which I have worn during our mild winters for the last going on 19 years. I still can't get over the bargain! San Francisco wasn't new to me, because as an ethics prosecutor I used to teach a class from time to time in the City at our offices there. (Hour flights were slightly less traumatic for me!)

Don't ask me how my late Tuxedo and Tipper cats got in here, with Denise, but below, with Denise, they are when they were both quite young. 

Writing, Traveling and Hosting

These are from various moments, late 1990s I am thinking, and clearly below one photo confirms it.

Dad was, as I have mentioned, part of a writing class at the City of West Hollywood Senior Center. It really energized his writing as I will no doubt be posting his stories and some of his commentaries, for many years. Every year I seem to remember, there was a small public presentation of the stories of the members of the group, as you can see.  

Although my father had served in the Big One, World War II and spent time in Italy and North Africa, in my memory he just wasn't a big traveler. He went with me in 1995 (and there will likely be pictures when I find them!) for the investiture of George Niederauer as Bishop of Salt Lake City. Of course, he moved from New York to Los Angeles. Right now, I cannot think of any other place he went during my lifetime, except the trip pictured below, which I convinced him to go on (and it wasn't easy), a three day cruise to Mexico. My friends Andrew and Len and I saw him off (that picture is somewhere). I think I can safely say that neither my father nor I received gifts well from one another, for reasons that are probably explainable by some psychological theory. He is smiling in some of these pictures, but he never went on another trip. 

He did much better when I brought a friend to him, on his 90th birthday. The picture just below is not from his 90th, but from around 1979. The lovely lady is Sophia. One of dad's co-workers at the Super Agency he worked for arranged for a blind date. He hadn't dated since my mother died a few years before, and frankly, he really wasn't looking for anyone, but he conceded. Sophia was quite a few years younger than dad, something like 15 or 16, and that gave him pause. But she was Greek, and he was half Greek, and they both had attended the same Greek school, albeit some years apart. It was a match, but only for about a year or two. If it had been up to me, they would have been married. And I know they cared for one another. He said he broke up with her because he didn't think it was fair to her, given his age. She told me that it was a mutual decision.  Because of me (I have to say) they kept in touch from time to time. I kept in more frequent touch. I was, and am, crazy about her. In 2008. Sophia agreed to be a surprise visitor for Dad's 90th. My friend Len arranged that she could use his miles. I insisted that she should pay for nothing and put her up at at a boutique hotel (both Dad and I lived in one bedroom apartments; I wanted her to have complete comfort; I insisted; she kindly allowed me the latitude). Dad suspected, but only slightly complained about seeing her after so long; I could tell he was excited. It was a lovely weekend. My friends Len and Andrew and I joined them for a dinner at Madeo Dad did comment that he could have made the Linguini and Clams for far less than the celebrity restaurant charged but at the valet, waiting for our car, he engaged Sophia in a small dance. When they were going together, they had danced everywhere that remained in New York, Roseland among them. I was in law school and half the time found myself waiting up for him, like a worried mother. Sophia joined us for Mass (Dad had by that time become a Catholic), and a brunch at the still-missed Mirabelle on Sunset Boulevard. Dad died about 23 days later. Sophia, lifelong New Yorker, lives now near her son in Florida. 

A Characteristic Pose. I still have the mandolin. 

Although Dad went to writing classes with other senior citizens, he always liked younger people, people in my age range. All my friends knew him well, for when I was in college and in law school he catered and hosted my parties, and even when he moved to Los Angeles he would join me on various outings with friends. The young woman below, however, lived in the first building he moved into when he came to LA, and she found his intelligence, charm and kindness compelling. They became friends.  After she got married and moved to San Francisco, and had a daughter, she occasionally came to visit with Chloe. I like this picture, which Kathi sent to him, of the two of them in front of his little library in his dining room. And below that Dad administering First Aid to her daughter, for a little scrape. Dad liked her but did express his bias about children when he complained that he didn't understand why she didn't like Cornish Hens. Dad was a gourmet cook. I tried to explain that children prefer things like Mac and Cheese. He thought that odd. And odder still that my friends and I also did not like Cornish Hens. In fact, he was disappointed about our lack of good taste on the matter. 

A Promise Fulfilled by Constantine Gochis

 In fact, my father had not titled this short short story. I am guessing that his writing class had been instructed to begin a story, any story, with the well known, somewhat hackneyed sentence, "It was a dark and stormy night" and see where it took each senior writer. Dad was for some time part of an elder writing class sponsored by West Hollywood, California and facilitated by a lovely lady named Bea Mitz. He actually had a few of his works published in small venues. 

I decided to give it a title, "A Promise Fulfilled".  Here goes.

It was a dark and stormy night. The little girl pressed her face against the inner panes of her bedroom window, her eyes straining to penetrate the clouding moisture. She had heard the door slam as he stormed out of the house.  The raging force of nature outside, the lightning and the claps of thunder did not hide from her anxious heart the hate-filled words they had hurled at each other in the other room.  There was movement, she was sure, as her eyes strained into the teeming vastness of the raging turmoil outside.  A figure was walking toward the house. He was coming back! Then, desolation and tears.  It was nothing more than the protesting branches of a tree casting shadows in the intermittent flashes of lightning.

She was chilled.  The fireplace was unlit. Earlier, the maid had come into her room and made those bodily movements and sounds that denote one is cold.

"Lara," she said, 'it's freezing in here. Shall I light the fireplace?"

"No, no," Lara protested, "please leave it!"  It was Christmas Eve, she said. How would Santa come down a fireplace into blazing logs. And Papa had promised her a special gift. They would open it together tomorrow. Then he would take her away with him and they would be together forever and ever. . . "

The woman entered the room.  "Come away from the window, Lara," she said sternly.  "You can be hit with lightning."  There was no concern in her eyes. She was as composed as she always was, and beautifully dressed, untouched in any way by the conflict whose din had penetrated the wrath of the storm, the sturdy oak door to her room and had pierced her heart. 

"Come away," she repeated. "I've had enough nonsense for one night, and Louise," she said addressing the maid, "get her into bed before she catches her death. Get some heat into this room!" With that final admonition, she strode away.

"Come, Lara," whispered Louise, "Your mother is angry."

"She's not my mother. She's never been my mother!" Lara burst into tears. "I hate her--I hate her!"

Louise set about lighting the logs in the fireplace. "Sweetheart," she soothed. "Don't talk like that. Kris Kringle can hear long distance. And Santa doesn't have to worry about fire in the chimney. You just won't see him when he comes, and he always does. But he won't come if little girls try to stay awake to catch him."

Lara relaxed as Louise dried her eyes.  Papa never lied to her and Santa had never failed her before. Her eyelids were heavy from the cares of this fateful day.

Sleep came quickly, and dreams in which there was no rain, no lightning and thunder, where the ground was pearly white with thick snow, especially on the rooftops. How else could Santa drive except with snow?  

Then the storm was back and she was somehow outside in the pelting rain. Papa had her by one hand and the woman the other.  They were pulling in different directions and their voices were shrill. Suddenly, she wasn't dreaming. She was awake and there was another din through her sturdy oak door.

Then suddenly, there was silence.

Lara ran to the door and opened it. 

"Papa," she cried, "You came back!"

Her father was standing face to face with the woman. Two men stood stoically behind him. One of the men was in a police uniform and wore a gun around his waist.

"Well," said the woman coldly, "take her, take her now."

Lara jumped into her father's arms.  He carried her briefly back inside her room.  

"Look," he said, pointing to the floor in front of the fireplace. 

"Look, your gift from Santa." 

Eureka Springs, Arkansas 2011

I have been fortunate in many ways, but among them, is becoming friends with colleagues I had at the State Bar of California. In my last entry, I posted pics from my trip, in 2006, to Victoria, British Columbia, with a friend and colleague from the Bar (Dede), to visit a retired member of our little group (Kay). Today's entry revisits my trip to see my friend and then former colleague Maridee in Jefferson City, Missouri, where she moved back in 2001 (the time that has passed boggles the mind every time), and from whence we took a car trip to Eureka Springs, Arkansas and a little cabin on a creek at a Retreat Vacation locale called "Sky Ridge". I'd say it had a little of the isolation of say a Walden Pond and Maridee and I surely communed about life and philosophy and friendship. And we did some sightseeing too in the town built on the mountain in the Ozarks. I am fortunate that some of my friends moved to locales that I would not have otherwise visited. I would have missed some splendid topography and people.

With my current bout of arthritis, I doubt I could manage this town any longer. It is entirely hills and steps. 

But it is also a combination of history, old west type and new age. Comfortable. Welcoming.

It is said that the Crescent Hotel is haunted. Some years after my passing through it as a tourist, I saw a program about the ghostly residents. 

But as for me, when I went inside I found a cat, and that was all I needed to feel at home. The cat was also a resident. 

Above, our little cabin. And a bit of the landscape around us. See below as well. 

Below, if memory serves, the location of the spring? I forget. 

Maridee and me. 

Below, a little house from 1890 that I could happily have lived in. And look at that bargain basement price!

I may hate to fly, but the view is sometimes so spectacular thirty thousand feet up.